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Your Week in Seriously Times: Dec. 4 – 10, 2011

To recap this week’s daily SeriouslyGuys updates:

  • NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell continues his mission to have every artist on his wife’s iPad play the Super Bowl Halftime Show, and this year it’s Madonna’s turn. (Dec. 5, 2011)

The U.S. Citizenship Test (according to Facebook)

Good afternoon, presumably American citizen! As you’re probably aware, your right to citizenship is guaranteed by the 14th amendment to the U.S. Constitution (not to be confused with the U.S.S. Constitution, which — like diversity — is an old, old wooden ship used during the Civil War era). And, if you’re not a citizen, then you can apply and then take a test to prove you’re the stuff American dreams are made of. But, is that too simple?

In many trades, you are required to periodically re-certify to maintain your current standing or move up to another level of union or guild membership. Those who can’t make the grade in, say, barrel-making could find themselves out of a job if they can’t stay up to date in the latest innovations in the field of coopering.

We could have had something similar for U.S. citizenship. Unfortunately, some Southern racists ruined things by only applying political competency tests to African Americans, so the Voting Rights Act of 1965 pretty much nipped that idea in the bud.

But, what if there were a way for people to self-administer this test to prove over and over again to their friends and family that they are America+ citizens? It seems silly to think anyone would submit that kind of personal information on a daily basis to coworkers and near strangers …. and then Mark Zuckerberg invented Facebook.

I’ve created a new U.S. Citizenship Recertification test based on my research, which consisted of diddling around on Facebook all day.

Continues:

BSD #5: ‘The Man From Earth’

My rating for The Man from Earth: 3.5 unused nails out of 4
A sloppy ending costs it the final half nail.

Episode 5 of the Blast Shields Down podcast is up, and this is the first episode we’ve put out that I hosted.

We reviewed Jerome Bixby’s The Man from Earth, and let me just get this out of the way: as movies go, this one’s a bottle episode. It takes place almost entirely in a living room where a bunch of college professors heavily discuss science, religion, and whether a guy could live for 4,000 years. It’s fitting, though, because Bixby based the screenplay on an episode he wrote for Star Trek, “Requiem for Methuselah.”

WARNING: Blast Shields Down film reviews are practically silly with suspense-ruining spoilers, naughty language, and infuriating opinions. This particular episode is also stricken with a scorching case of the blasphemies. Use the discretion your mom should’ve given you.

Continue reading BSD #5: ‘The Man From Earth’