Your Week in Seriously Times: Feb. 5 – 11, 2012

I also appointed my Supreme Court Dream Team: Florida Judge John Hurley as Chief Justice and eight clones of Judge Hurley.

The finger, blood clots, spanking, court-ordered dates, lying doctors, and bullet-ridden laptops; it looks like everybody had it in for you this week. Here’s the recap if you survived:

  • You know the culture war’s over when the PTC focuses on an errant finger in the middle of the most gay-friendly Super Bowl halftime show since Up With People. (Feb. 6, 2012)
  • Just when you think the airline industry has cut out all complimentary services in coach, they find one more to take away: blood clots. (Feb.7, 2012)
  • Canadian scientists discover kids are like a faulty television: smacking it may fix undesirable behavior in the short term, maybe even knock some dust off, but your Samsung is still broken and probably even more so now. (Feb. 8, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: Red Lobster got just about the worst endorsement it never asked for. (Feb. 8, 2012)
  • A dad shoots his teenage daughter’s laptop after she posts mean things about him on Facebook so that she’ll never do it again. In other news, the MPAA believes they’ve finally licked their Internet piracy problem. (Feb. 10, 2012)

*Joke credit goes to online compadre, Abel Undercity.

Your Week in Seriously Times: Jan. 29 – Feb. 5

Edible goo, tased dog owners, a prince going to pretend war, Watchmen Babies, girlfriend adoptions, strippers and sex with children: it’s been a week that could only end with a super Sunday. Here’s the recap:

  • The adventures of a British prince in a magical land with Spanishy people and backwards-flowing toilets continue. (Feb. 1, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: DC ain’t afraid of no snake god or losing what little credibility they have left. Get ready for Watchmen prequels. (Feb. 1, 2012)
  • Some guy adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend. Don’t worry; he’s just rich and wants to keep his money after being arrested for drinking and running over a poor person. It’s not like he’s a pervert or nothing. (Feb. 2, 2012)
  • Republicans against supporting single moms? Well, that’s not so surprising. But, Catholics against sex with children? What is this? Wackytown? (Feb. 3, 2012)

Your Week in Seriously Times: Dec. 4 – 10, 2011

To recap this week’s daily SeriouslyGuys updates:

  • NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell continues his mission to have every artist on his wife’s iPad play the Super Bowl Halftime Show, and this year it’s Madonna’s turn. (Dec. 5, 2011)