Your Week in Seriously Times: Sept. 30 – Oct. 6, 2012

The Seriously Times: now delivering.

Sexy Boy Scouts, missionary Republicans, aging rockers, and, oh, the huge manatees! Is it Spocktober? Why, yes. Yes, it is. Let the Amok Time begin! Here’s the recap:

  • The Boy Scouts of America takes a courageous stand against fucking kids. After covering for the pederasts for the past 30 – 40 years. (Oct. 1, 2012)
  • Alabama Republicans figure that if there’s one way to endear voters to your party, it’s by harassing them door-to-door. (Oct. 2, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: Green Day pulls the “Don’t you know who I am?!” card instead of playing the final minute of their set. Justin Bieber throws up twice on stage and doesn’t stop his show. Conclusion: the gods of punk are fickle, indeed. (Oct. 3, 2012)
  • Hey, you! No, the other chick on top of a manatee. Yeah, you! (Oct. 5, 2012)

Your Week in Seriously Times: Jun. 17 – 23, 2012

Haboob haikus, spear guns, Baby Merlot, fat salad, and gay Republicans — counter-intuition was this week’s theme on SeriouslyGuys. Here’s the recap:

  • You just know that it’s images like this that made the inventor of x-ray machines get out of bed every morning. (Jun. 19, 2012)
  • Can I buy you and your baby a drink? Yes, according to the Danishes. (Jun. 20, 2012)
  • GOProud may be a Republican organization for gay people, but that doesn’t mean gay issues are a priority. Just like how women’s groups will tolerate an occasional slap if you buy groceries. (Jun. 22, 2012)

Your Week in Seriously Times: Jan. 1 – 7, 2012

Ritalin, gelatinous mice, Iowans, Stephen Hawking, and confused fish — what do they have in common? They were all the rage the first week of 2012. Here’s the recap:

  • The nation is running out of Ritalin and Adderall, which spells bad news for “sit quietly at your desk and reflect” lesson plans. One result: U.S. Youth Soccer Associations predict they will run out of red and yellow cards by March. (Jan. 2, 2012)
  • If that pet snake you got for Christmas died and you don’t know what to do with the rest of its feeding mice, crack open a Mountain Dew. (Jan. 3, 2012)
  • Iowans reenacted the first election, replete with paper ballots and anti-science values. Find out who won and who will spend the rest of their careers on Fox News. (Jan. 4, 2012)