Your Week in Seriously Times: Mar. 18 – 24, 2012

*ksht* No, what does MINE say? Over. *ksht*

Viking mice, skinny models, coregasms, space madness, and pot unions — believe it or not, this is not Warren Ellis dot Com. To the contrary, they are the topics of this week’s posts on SeriouslyGuys. Here’s the recap:

  • When next the Viking mice arrive, worry not, for some German descendant of the Vandals will crush them while holding a camera. (Mar. 19, 2012)
  • Israel throws a sandwich into our plan to keep breeding beautiful skinny people until they evolve into coat hangers. The end result of our breeding program? The Kwisatz Hatrack. (Mar. 20, 2012)
  • Now we know why men aren’t allowed into Curves: you can’t hear your music over all those mind-bending orgasms the women keep having. (Mar. 21, 2012)
  • Ask Dr. Snee: The doctor is back, and he’s answering spring-related letters from dieters, allergy sufferers, and the patient who broke his heart. (Mar. 21, 2012)
  • If you thought Ashton Kutcher was already insufferable, just wait until he comes back to Earth with Fantastic Four powers. Please, let it be orange rock. Please. (Mar. 22, 2012)
  • Medical marijuana dispensers have started unionizing. Looks like Kevin Smith was on(to) something in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. (Mar. 23, 2012)

Your Week in Seriously Times: Feb. 26 – Mar. 3, 2012

Legos, Jesus fish, the Goddamn Bat Flu, Lent, Nazis, and T. Rexes — if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear this week was life trying to outdo all the crap that won Oscars on Sunday. Here’s the recap:

  • One Japanese astronaut is trying to turn the International Space Station into one of those Russian nesting dolls. Much like Putin’s pre-planned election results, it just seems like the Ruskies aren’t even trying to be devious any more. (Feb. 27, 2012)
  • Even in the earliest days of Christianity, they couldn’t help advertising their faith on the most expensive thing they owned. (Feb. 28, 2012)
  • ♬ Dunna-nunna-nunna-nunna, dunna-nunna-nunna-nunna BAT FLU!(Feb. 29, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: Lent is a valuable time to explore your own faith and connect with God in a meaningful way … but, what if we got to apply it to others? (Feb. 29, 2012)
  • Just in case you were worried things were getting better, we found some racists either wielding authority or seeking it in the U.S. Now, don’t you feel better? (Mar. 1, 2012)