Your Week in Seriously Times: Mar. 25 – 31, 2012

Even when *you* get the bear, instead of vice versa, how does that not translate into a maulin'?

Hummingbirds, enemies, teen girls, cougars, and astronauts — put them all together and you get one deliciously sexy naughty dream. Also, they pretty much sum up this week on SeriouslyGuys. Here’s the recap:

  • Plants: as if it wasn’t bad enough that we’re coughing up their semen for the next month or so, it turns out they also do the nasty with animals. One natural gas well has had enough of their lurid behavior. (Mar. 26, 2012)
  • A new Facebook app lets you declare your friends as enemies. You can’t add frenemies, though, so “it’s complicated” will have to suffice. (Mar. 27, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: Whether you have employees, kids, or students, you get the chance to throw your weight around. But, what’s left to boss around when you don’t have any of those? (Mar. 28, 2012)

Playing God on a Budget

While some of us may have been born into wealth and power, and even fewer of us may claw our way up the ladder to it, the rest of us have to get by with what little material success we’ve scraped together. So, how does one feel better about their station? By applying their arbitrary rules to some self-made underling, usually children.

But, children are expensive. They eat, they break things and they refuse to get a job to pay for either. And of those who do work? Even renting children as actors costs millions of dollars once they get their SAG card.

That’s why I’ve come up with this list of non-children to homeschool into your own slightly-less-than-divine image.

Read the list at either:

Your Week in Seriously Times: Feb. 26 – Mar. 3, 2012

Legos, Jesus fish, the Goddamn Bat Flu, Lent, Nazis, and T. Rexes — if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear this week was life trying to outdo all the crap that won Oscars on Sunday. Here’s the recap:

  • One Japanese astronaut is trying to turn the International Space Station into one of those Russian nesting dolls. Much like Putin’s pre-planned election results, it just seems like the Ruskies aren’t even trying to be devious any more. (Feb. 27, 2012)
  • Even in the earliest days of Christianity, they couldn’t help advertising their faith on the most expensive thing they owned. (Feb. 28, 2012)
  • ♬ Dunna-nunna-nunna-nunna, dunna-nunna-nunna-nunna BAT FLU!(Feb. 29, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: Lent is a valuable time to explore your own faith and connect with God in a meaningful way … but, what if we got to apply it to others? (Feb. 29, 2012)
  • Just in case you were worried things were getting better, we found some racists either wielding authority or seeking it in the U.S. Now, don’t you feel better? (Mar. 1, 2012)