Your Week in Seriously Times: Sept. 30 – Oct. 6, 2012

The Seriously Times: now delivering.

Sexy Boy Scouts, missionary Republicans, aging rockers, and, oh, the huge manatees! Is it Spocktober? Why, yes. Yes, it is. Let the Amok Time begin! Here’s the recap:

  • The Boy Scouts of America takes a courageous stand against fucking kids. After covering for the pederasts for the past 30 – 40 years. (Oct. 1, 2012)
  • Alabama Republicans figure that if there’s one way to endear voters to your party, it’s by harassing them door-to-door. (Oct. 2, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: Green Day pulls the “Don’t you know who I am?!” card instead of playing the final minute of their set. Justin Bieber throws up twice on stage and doesn’t stop his show. Conclusion: the gods of punk are fickle, indeed. (Oct. 3, 2012)
  • Hey, you! No, the other chick on top of a manatee. Yeah, you! (Oct. 5, 2012)

Your Week in Seriously Times: Jul. 15 – 21, 2012

And you thought Church of England has tough choices.

Bad teeth, polio, flip-flops, gay Boy Scouts, mermaids, and Gen X — a good friend would buy me something off this list for my birthday. Also, they’re this week’s SeriouslyGuys topics. Here’s the recap:

  • Either BPA that may or may not have been in fillings (it wasn’t measured) casues bad behavior, or kids who don’t brush their teeth have problems. Guess we’ll never know. (Jul. 16, 2012)
  • One is OK with killing children by advocating against vaccines, and the other is also the Taliban. (Jul. 17, 2012)
  • Flip-flops ruin your feet in more ways besides whale tail tan lines. (Jul. 18, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: The Boy Scouts know something sinister about these woods, and that’s why gays can’t come camping. It’s certainly not because they’re homophobes, and how dare you for suggesting it. (Jul. 18, 2012)
  • Discovery Channel is about to become the Network Who Cried “Mermaid.” (Jul.19, 2012)
  • Gen-X used to be into global warming … until it got all commercial and sold out. (Jul. 20, 2012)

Boy Scouts’ Gay Ban Protects Boys

I know, I know. We now live in a country where gay men and women can openly serve in the military, but gays still can’t join the Boy Scouts. To you, it makes no sense. The Boy Scouts are like the military without the threat of imminent death that made homosexuality such a hazard in combat, so what’s the big deal?

The deal is that Boy Scouts may not face threats in the form of IEDs and RPGs, but they are threatened with something just as terrible if not worse. As a former scout, I know that BSA leadership didn’t just make an arbitrary rule because gay sex is icky. It’s just, well, my Scoutmaster made me promise not to talk about it.

Fine, I’ll tell you the real reason why the Boy Scouts upheld their ban on gay scouts and leaders, but you can’t tell anyone. After all, if you can’t trust the Internet to keep a secret, who can you trust? Continue reading Boy Scouts’ Gay Ban Protects Boys