Cocktails, oo-oo!

It explains this guy's flying.
It explains this guy’s flying.

I’m pretty sure that the theme to Duck Tales was written for booze money. And it only took a couple of minor lyrics edits to find some poor fellow thirsty traveler begging for a drink.

Life is like a hurricane here in Drunkburg.
Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes — it’s a drunk blur.
You might solve a mystery! Or rewrite history!
 
Cock Tails, oo-oo!
Tales of derring-do, bad and good drunk tales, oo-oo!
 
D-d-d-danger, watch behind you! There’s a stranger out to find you!
What to do? Just grab onto some Cock Tails, oo-oo!
Not pony tails or cotton tails, but Cock Tails, oo-oo!
 
When it seems they’re headed for the final curtain,
Bold deduction never fails, that’s for certain!
The worst of messes become successes!
 
Cock Tails, oo-oo !
Tales of derring-do, bad and good drunk tales, oo-oo!
Not pony tails or cotton tails but Cock Tails, oo-oo!

 

And everybody thought the best music was written about heroin.