Your Week in Seriously Times: Jun. 17 – 23, 2012

Haboob haikus, spear guns, Baby Merlot, fat salad, and gay Republicans — counter-intuition was this week’s theme on SeriouslyGuys. Here’s the recap:

  • You just know that it’s images like this that made the inventor of x-ray machines get out of bed every morning. (Jun. 19, 2012)
  • Can I buy you and your baby a drink? Yes, according to the Danishes. (Jun. 20, 2012)
  • GOProud may be a Republican organization for gay people, but that doesn’t mean gay issues are a priority. Just like how women’s groups will tolerate an occasional slap if you buy groceries. (Jun. 22, 2012)

Your Week in Seriously Times: Jun. 3 – 9, 2012

Pot moms, junk food, AIDS, fat heads, and abortion — chances are good that my first week back at SeriouslyGuys will offend somebody. Here’s the recap:

  • Disney announced they will market less junk food to children on their channels. That doesn’t mean, however, that you’ll be able to leave the couch in the middle of a Boy Meets World marathon to exercise. (Jun. 6, 20102)
  • Ask Dr. Snee: The slow summer news media season opens, which means it’s time to crap our pants over the next “New AIDS.” (Jun. 6, 2012)
  • White people are fatheads. You can’t argue with that; it’s science. (Jun. 7, 2012)
  • A Republican Congressman from Alabama earns his wings by attaching an anti-abortion measure to a Homeland Security spending bill. Your government, can you feel it getting smaller? (Jun. 8, 2012)

Your Week in Seriously Times: Apr. 15 – 21, 2012

Kids say the fuckingest things.

Zombie prep, handcuffed kids, sleeping babies, and sex robots … It’s not the next The Next Phillip K. Dick novelist, but this week’s SeriouslyGuys posts. Here’s the recap:

  • Handcuffs on kids may seem cruel and unusual, but name a better way to keep them from picking their noses. (Apr. 17, 2012)
  • Never wake a sleeping baby. Unless, you know, you’re insane. (Apr. 18, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: Could you survive the gauntlet that is our federal court system? Find out in the dramatic conclusion to my three-part series, Explaining the U.S. Branches of Government to Foreigners and Children. This week: it’s the judicial branch! (Apr. 18, 2012)

*This and many more statistics brought to you by My Ass. My Ass: because what goes into my head must come out somewhere.