Your Week in Seriously Times: Sept. 30 – Oct. 6, 2012

The Seriously Times: now delivering.

Sexy Boy Scouts, missionary Republicans, aging rockers, and, oh, the huge manatees! Is it Spocktober? Why, yes. Yes, it is. Let the Amok Time begin! Here’s the recap:

  • The Boy Scouts of America takes a courageous stand against fucking kids. After covering for the pederasts for the past 30 – 40 years. (Oct. 1, 2012)
  • Alabama Republicans figure that if there’s one way to endear voters to your party, it’s by harassing them door-to-door. (Oct. 2, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: Green Day pulls the “Don’t you know who I am?!” card instead of playing the final minute of their set. Justin Bieber throws up twice on stage and doesn’t stop his show. Conclusion: the gods of punk are fickle, indeed. (Oct. 3, 2012)
  • Hey, you! No, the other chick on top of a manatee. Yeah, you! (Oct. 5, 2012)

Your Week in Seriously Times: Apr. 29 – May 5, 2012

Finally, they can eat those jerks in cages.

Moms, snakes, red wine, and laser sharks — it’s not just the recipe for a guaranteed second date in Florida, but also what I wrote about on SeriouslyGuys this week. Here’s the recap:

  • The nice thing about snake suicide bombers is that they don’t leave a pile of limbs to clean up afterwards. Amiright, U.S. Army? (May 1, 2012)
  • Science says you have to drink 100 glasses of wine a day to keep up with healthy mice. At least, that’s how I read things when I’m drunk. (May 2, 2012)
  • Laser sharks. We’re gonna need a lead-bottomed boat! (May 3, 2012)

I’ll Miss You, Huntsville

We both tried to warn everyone about this place.

Well, this is officially my last Take it from Snee as a Huntsville, Alabama resident. On Friday, I return to Northern Virginia, from whence I came, with a new job.

I’ve ragged a lot on Huntsville my years here, from her lack of a decent rock radio station to her jarringly loud tornado sirens (the latter proving to be entirely necessary). And let’s not forget her attempts to make me fat or give me STDs with her drive-through sex toy shops. But, that doesn’t mean I haven’t loved her and the people here. Believe you me, once I’m back in NoVa, you’ll hear plenty about that region that just thinks it’s DC.

No, I do not come to bury Huntsville, but to give it to her one last time. Lovingly. Continue reading I’ll Miss You, Huntsville

Your Week in Seriously Times: Feb. 12 – 18, 2012

Who says I can't be preachy?

Hovering, mooning, exploding, and drinking: it’s been the week of the gerunds! (It was also a shortened week because I got sick, hence no Wednesday post or “Take it from Snee.”) Here’s the recap:

  • It turns out that the insect secret to hovering is being top heavy. With Mattel’s announcement to sell licensed Back to the Future hoverboards, Newt Gingrich’s giant head will be unstoppable. (Except over water.) (Feb. 13, 2012)