Your Week in Seriously Times: Dec. 23 – 29, 2012

To make sure you get to do it again in the morning, refer to your “tweedle” as a “burying beetle” as often as you can during and immediately after copulation.
To make sure you get to do it again in the morning, refer to your “tweedle” as a “burying beetle” as often as you can during and immediately after copulation.

Animal-themed condoms and forbidden Russian babies — now that’s how you wrap a year up! Here’s the final recap for SeriouslyGuys in 2012:

  • The Center for Biological Diversity wants to curb human reproduction by comparing sex to bugs and dead tigers. And if that doesn’t work, they included a condom, too. (Dec. 27, 2012)
  • Now that the U.S. is sanctioning Russian human rights violators, President Vladimir Putin is protecting those human rights violators’ supply of redheaded stepchildren. (Dec. 28, 2012)

Your Week in Seriously Times: Jan. 29 – Feb. 5

Edible goo, tased dog owners, a prince going to pretend war, Watchmen Babies, girlfriend adoptions, strippers and sex with children: it’s been a week that could only end with a super Sunday. Here’s the recap:

  • The adventures of a British prince in a magical land with Spanishy people and backwards-flowing toilets continue. (Feb. 1, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: DC ain’t afraid of no snake god or losing what little credibility they have left. Get ready for Watchmen prequels. (Feb. 1, 2012)
  • Some guy adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend. Don’t worry; he’s just rich and wants to keep his money after being arrested for drinking and running over a poor person. It’s not like he’s a pervert or nothing. (Feb. 2, 2012)
  • Republicans against supporting single moms? Well, that’s not so surprising. But, Catholics against sex with children? What is this? Wackytown? (Feb. 3, 2012)