I was selected as the HumorOutcasts.com Featured Writer of the Month for April 2012. You can read my interview here.
This week: bad mothers, unstoppable New Yorkers, the end of calendars as we know them and the clap! It’s not the end of the world, just the end of another week on SeriouslyGuys … and also the end of the year. Here’s the recap:
- Science unveiled their latest analogy, “bad fathers : slutty teens :: bad mothers : fat teens.” (Dec. 27, 2011)
- Mayor Bloomberg announces that his master race of New Yorkers are here, and the only way to survive the onslaught is to become one. (Dec. 28, 2011)
- An astrophysicist and an economist invent a new calendar. That’s the joke. (Dec. 29, 2011)
- Christopher Columbus invented mercantilism. He took raw syphilis from the New World back to Europe, where they refined it into the brain-eating sex parasite we all know and love today, then sold it back to the colonies in the form of Kinder eggs and empanadas. (Dec. 30, 2011)
Whenever I approach a new year, I like to take stock of what I survived. I like to think of myself less as a time traveler stuck in forward linear motion at an uninterruptible rate and more of a time warrior, cleaning out the runners of my time sword as I prepare to skewer another year.
So, here’s an entirely subjective list of what went right and wrong in 2011 before greeting Bolon Yokte as an old friend at midnight, Jan. 1.