Your Week in Seriously Times: Dec. 25 – 31, 2011

It's because they eat a good breakfast every morning and never sleep.

This week: bad mothers, unstoppable New Yorkers, the end of calendars as we know them and the clap! It’s not the end of the world, just the end of another week on SeriouslyGuys … and also the end of the year. Here’s the recap:

  • Science unveiled their latest analogy, “bad fathers : slutty teens :: bad mothers : fat teens.” (Dec. 27, 2011)
  • An astrophysicist and an economist invent a new calendar. That’s the joke. (Dec. 29, 2011)
  • Christopher Columbus invented mercantilism. He took raw syphilis from the New World back to Europe, where they refined it into the brain-eating sex parasite we all know and love today, then sold it back to the colonies in the form of Kinder eggs and empanadas. (Dec. 30, 2011)

Pros and Cons of Surviving 2011

Among the entries, we say farewell to Kim Jong-il, whose ladies-sunglasses-wearing, Hair-Club-for-Men-presidential like we will never see again.

Whenever I approach a new year, I like to take stock of what I survived. I like to think of myself less as a time traveler stuck in forward linear motion at an uninterruptible rate and more of a time warrior, cleaning out the runners of my time sword as I prepare to skewer another year.

So, here’s an entirely subjective list of what went right and wrong in 2011 before greeting Bolon Yokte as an old friend at midnight, Jan. 1.

Read this year’s entries at: