As I established last “lightning round,” there are certain thoughts I have that don’t really make an entire Take it from Snee. They’re just ideas I save up from stories I read and, when the week’s particularly slow, I just ejaculate them into one gonzo post. So, enjoy my brain ejaculations. I promise to avoid your hair [...]

You ever read an ex’s blog entry after a breakup? I don’t mean the entry right after it ended where they’re sad and can only listen to Kelly Clarkson. I mean the one a few months later where they air your dirty laundry about your laziness, poor hygiene and sub-par penis size, maybe claim you tried [...]

Let’s get this out of the way before I piss off only the Catholics: unless you’re dieting or a passive-aggressive schmuck, fasting is for losers. Almost every religion employs it at some point and tries to dismiss hunger pains and low blood pressure symptoms as holy euphoria. But, anyone who’s bound to be offended knows why [...]

I love how the hip-hop community was worried that all their battle songs sound gay. Not derogatory gay, but really, really gay. Like “touched if my friends call their wedding a ‘commitment ceremony’” gay. I can imagine the setting when they came up with “no homo.” DJ Fistmaster is taking a break from a hot and [...]

Most of the Guys may be a little young to remember 1985-1986, the year when you couldn’t escape “We Are the World.” Well, I had to participate in several performances of it all the way up to 1989. (Some music experts credit elementary schools’ adoration of the song as the progenitor of “Kidz Bop.” Think [...]

As a Facebook user, I see what I would normally consider bright and rational people reveal just how close we all are to succumbing to pyramid schemes and cults. Instead of convincing our friends to buy and sell Amway products, we sell them out to marketing companies through Mafia and Farmville games. When that doesn’t work, [...]

Dear Dr. Snee, What is a placebo? Is that what mother dogs eat when they have puppies? –Johnny Laster, age 8 A mother dog eats the placenta, which is part of the sac that fetuses live inside of while in their mother’s stomach. But that’s not just dogs: all mammals have them, including humans. I talked to your mom [...]

The past couple of weeks, I’ve examined the news, looking for topics for this column. There are certain subjects I’ve bypassed, not because I haven’t heard about them or couldn’t think of any quips, but the stories themselves were obvious bait. I will argue (long after my identity is stolen, my friends’ profiles have devolved into [...]

Last Wednesday, SeriouslyGuys.com columnist Rick Snee gave it to you about the pronunciation of “2010″ (again). And while he routinely projects volleys of predictions in these pieces, hoping one of them may stick, it appears he’s on the cusp of being right. On the topic of future wars in the “Twenty-Ten” chain of events, he said [...]

Proving that the horse I’ve been whipping isn’t dead, Twenty-Ten (a.k.a. the future) has arrived. Thanks to your efforts to spread the word, people around the world are referring to this year in the manner that will separate us from our primitive 20th Century predecessors. But, that doesn’t mean we can sit back and enjoy the [...]