Your Week in Seriously Times: Sep. 9 – 15, 2012

Construction workers hope to appease the spider with a human sacrifice.

Spiders, Emma Watson, Titanic, democracy, animal heresies, and freak-nasty ladies — if John Carpenter wrote the screenplay for this week, this is what it’d look like on SeriouslyGuys. Here’s the recap:

  • An endangered spider halted construction on an underpass in Texas. And, there’s only way to kill an endangered spider, which is with a panda loafer. (Sep. 10, 2012)
  • Of all celebrities today, Emma Watson has the most computer viruses. Allohora valacyclovir! (Sep. 11, 2012)
  • “Jack, you can’t come up on the raft. We’re too heavy.” “… Are you still wearing that big ass diamond, Rose?” (Sep. 12, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: By upgrading your national operating system to Democracy┬«, you have automatically agreed to the user terms. Violating these terms will cause Democracy┬« to uninstall from your system. (Sep. 12, 2012)
  • Snakes and monkeys are just begging — begging — for a Spanish Inquisition. (Sep. 13, 2012)
  • Women are down for just about anything if you cover it in rose petals first. (Sep. 14, 2012)

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