Your Week in Seriously Times: Mar. 4 – 10, 2012

The story of the Wilhelm Scream is the story of White America.

Rampaging girl scouts, spider webs, metro bears, movies, clear cola, and petty theft … If this week were made into a movie, it’d gross $300 million domestic and an additional $600 million worldwide. (People who don’t speak our language are enamored with our explosions and American flags.) Here’s the recap:

  • One’s a loose cannon who plays by her own rules. The other’s a loose cannon who plays by her own rules, which sound suspiciously like the rules of our first loose cannon. Together, they’re fighting crime, one Samoa at a time. Coming to a door near you: Girl Scouts. (Mar. 5, 2012)
  • Bears have discovered exfoliation technology, which means it’s only a matter of time before they uncover tweezing and hot wax. Point is: are you sure you’re hugging a human being right now? (Mar. 7, 2012)
  • Take it from Snee: What do the Wilhelm scream, three-point landings, and exclamations of “It begins!” have in common? They’re all ruining otherwise OK movies. (Mar. 7, 2012)
  • Thanks to the goodness of Coca-cola’s heart (and now PepsiCo, too), we will never have to relive the debacle of 1992 – 1993, otherwise known as the Crystal Pepsi Crisis. (Mar. 8, 2012)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *