Archive for December, 2011:

Your Week in Seriously Times: Dec. 25 – 31, 2011

SeriouslyGuys
on December 31st, 2011 - No Comments

It's because they eat a good breakfast every morning and never sleep.

This week: bad mothers, unstoppable New Yorkers, the end of calendars as we know them and the clap! It’s not the end of the world, just the end of another week on SeriouslyGuys … and also the end of the year. Here’s the recap:

  • Science unveiled their latest analogy, “bad fathers : slutty teens :: bad mothers : fat teens.” (Dec. 27, 2011)
  • An astrophysicist and an economist invent a new calendar. That’s the joke. (Dec. 29, 2011)
  • Christopher Columbus invented mercantilism. He took raw syphilis from the New World back to Europe, where they refined it into the brain-eating sex parasite we all know and love today, then sold it back to the colonies in the form of Kinder eggs and empanadas. (Dec. 30, 2011)
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Pros and Cons of Surviving 2011

Take it from Snee
on December 29th, 2011 - No Comments

Among the entries, we say farewell to Kim Jong-il, whose ladies-sunglasses-wearing, Hair-Club-for-Men-presidential like we will never see again.

Whenever I approach a new year, I like to take stock of what I survived. I like to think of myself less as a time traveler stuck in forward linear motion at an uninterruptible rate and more of a time warrior, cleaning out the runners of my time sword as I prepare to skewer another year.

So, here’s an entirely subjective list of what went right and wrong in 2011 before greeting Bolon Yokte as an old friend at midnight, Jan. 1.

Read this year’s entries at:

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Seasons Sneetings!

Holiday Cards
on December 24th, 2011 - No Comments

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Your Week in Seriously Times: Dec. 18 – 24, 2011

SeriouslyGuys
on December 23rd, 2011 - No Comments

The Guys cut the week short so we could spend some time with our families and develop more material based on them. So, if you’re bored with your perfect family, here’s my gift to you: Newt, frankincense, and sperm … or, the week in review.

  • It’s hard to say exactly why Newt Gingrich is starting to flag a little, although there are many reasons going to school instead of building iPads or mopping up. Maybe people remember the 1990s better than their ’90s parties indicate. (Dec. 19, 2011)
  • This guy found a way to pay for porn and make it tax deductible. Fortunately, the FDA is there to squash that dream. (Dec. 20, 2011)
  • We’re here to kick ass and chew frankincense, and we’re all out of frankincense. (Looks like Jesus is gonna have to settle for a gift card to Kohls this year.) (Dec. 21, 2011)
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An Executioner’s Christmas Wishlist

Take it from Snee
on December 22nd, 2011 - No Comments

One of the perks to the holiday season is spending time with your family watching 24 hours of A Christmas Story, with an occasional switch-over to It’s a Wonderful Life. This is a time-honored tradition that predates even television, going back all the way back to public executions. But, even that may not last much longer: the European Union has tightened restrictions on selling lethal injection drugs to nations that still perform capital punishment (leading to an obvious question: what does a nation that doesn’t execute prisoners use lethal injection juices for?)

I could spend time answering that parenthetical, but who cares what a bunch of Europeans do with sodium thiopental or pentobarbital? The United States is in a real pickle here. If we don’t figure out a way to humanely execute our citizens, then we might have to actually consider the ramifications of a government that kills its citizens.

Fortunately, I’ve done some research and believe I may have found some alternatives so that we can get back to killing people without hangings or beheadings.

Find out how at:

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© Rick Snee, 2011 - 2012
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